


Guilty Innocence

by haventhadenough



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Love, Love/Hate, Monologue, Murder, Murder Mystery, Mystery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-26
Updated: 2014-01-26
Packaged: 2018-01-10 04:20:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1154971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haventhadenough/pseuds/haventhadenough
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is it. This is my moment. No one is going to stop me now. Not that woman sitting in the corner crying or the man standing at my back stopping me from running. No. This is going to happen exactly as I planned it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guilty Innocence

This is it. This is my moment. No one is going to stop me now. Not that woman sitting in the corner crying or the man standing at my back stopping me from running. No. This is going to happen exactly as I planned it. 

Didn’t take much thought really. It was pretty simple actually. These people, sitting watching me, judging me, they won’t figure it out. They can’t. They aren’t smart enough. They will look at everything and come to the conclusion I left for them to find. Insignificant people. 

The hardest part of the plan is over. She is gone. Maybe on some level I should feel remorse for this. But I don’t. Perhaps guilt should plague me. But it doesn’t. No. I feel free, happy and clever. So clever. The rest of the people in this room can’t compare to me, nobody can. 

If you asked me why I had to go so far, why I couldn’t just accept things, I couldn’t answer. The reasons remain unknown, even to me. The only thing I could say is I had a feeling; an overwhelming urge that told me I had to do it. So I did. But you wouldn’t understand. How could you? You are just a pawn in my game.

I guess you could say I loved her at one point but now she’s gone I can’t bring myself to miss her. It’s quieter now. No more having to listen to her incessant talking. Freedom. That’s what I have now. If only this would end so I could enjoy it. 

Their eyes are on me again. Watching me. Looking for any signs that could tell them what happened. But my carefully arranged expression remains in place. They will get nothing from me except what I wanted them to. 

The bags under my eyes from purposely staying awake, and the way I occasionally sniff from the cold I got from standing out in the rain too long, will paint exactly the picture I need it to. The real emotions and the smirk that is trying desperately to break free, are carefully hidden. A man grieving is the picture they need to see. And it is the picture I give to them.  
Questions after questions are fired at me. The repetition of going over the events again is beginning to become annoying. Nevertheless, I answer them with the rehearsed answers and appropriate emotions. They are pointless though. I have all the evidence set. It will tell them what they need to know. 

I can feel myself tiring of having to put on this act. I know it will be over soon but the mask is slipping a little. It’s getting harder and harder to keep the arrogance out of my voice and the smirk off my face. These people are so stupid that I can barely contain my laughter.

Every word I say, they believe. The doubt is fading from their minds and I can see what they are going to do. I know what they are going to say. Everything is going according to the plan.

I can’t stop the flashbacks, though. I can’t stop myself from remembering how happy we were. How in love we were. It was good for a while. But then something changed. I have never been able to say exactly what happened or why, only that things changed. She changed.

She became distant and disinterested. Our relationship became strained. We fought more and spoke less. We became two strangers who shared a house. Then it happened. She found another man. 

I could see in her eyes there was someone else. She did try at first to hide it. Came up with elaborate lies and stories to cover up but then she grew tired. She figured out that I knew and she gave up. I wouldn’t ask where she had been and she wouldn’t tell. 

It took a while but I confronted her. I told her to choose who she wanted. She picked him. Wrong choice. It was her fault really. Her decision forced my hand. What else could I do? She deserved it. 

It was so easy though. All it took was a bottle of pills, a glass of water and a helping hand. The moment it was done was incredible. A feeling of total bliss overwhelmed me. I cherish that moment.   
The bliss soon wore off though. It was replaced by something else. Something just as good. Excitement. The police were going to arrive soon. I couldn’t wait. The knowledge that they would come and try to figure out what had happened. Try to determine the cause. The people involved. The circumstances. 

If only they knew the circumstances. They would understand then. She deserved it. All women like her do. She got what she had coming to her and, maybe someday, others will too. They wouldn’t know this though; they would never be smart enough to see what is right in front of them. 

The police arrived in a whirl of flashing lights and sirens. Men in various uniforms flooded my house as it became a crime scene. I was never sure what sparked the idea of it being a “suspicious death”. It was a surprise to say the least, but, like the genius I am, I adapted. Took it in my stride and altered my plan slightly. 

The trial may not have been in my initial plan but with the thrill it is giving me, I can’t see why it wasn’t. The feeling that I am superior to all these other people is incredible. They continue to add two and two to get five. 

They have their role though. Their part to play in a well thought out story. They don’t know the truth. They never will. But they have all they need and they have made their decision. I have finally arrived at this moment. The moment where I have everything I want.

Bliss floods me again. Everything that I have done has been worth it. I got what I wanted and more. The buzz I got from it all wasn’t intended but it was good. I like the feeling of power I have. The knowledge that only I know the truth. That only I am capable of this. 

No one else could have done this. No one else is smart enough. Anyone else would have been caught. Perhaps this is a skill I should use. Maybe my journey is not ending here but beginning. My future is unknown but I know one thing for sure. 

I killed my wife and the court has just found me innocent.


End file.
